I have already been living in a tent for a few days and so far I don’t mind it too much… Of course, it’s a bit of an experiment and much easier during the Summer nights but if I can get used to this way of living then it would be a great way to save money so that I can focus entirely on creative work.
The main issue has been not having access to a toilet at night. I bought a special 3-litre ‘pee bottle’ so that I don’t have to travel all the way to my favourite spot in the local park (a lovely family of discreet bushes).
I never realised that Tesco would become such a sacred shrine to me. I go there at least once a day and use one of the cubicles after carefully wiping all the Ebola off the toilet seat. Most importantly, it’s open from 7 in the morning, which means these are the first public facilities to which I have access in the morning.
I once had to make a really desperate dash over there at 7 a.m. and of course both cubicles were occupied for the first time ever. It seems that two men had got in there just before me and they appeared to be asleep since I couldn’t hear any signs of ‘activity’ for well over ten minutes.
In my increasing desperation, I eventually knocked on the door of one of the cubicles and heard the sound of someone waking up. He eventually got out and I practically dived in there. He was wearing workmen’s clothes and it looked like he’d just finished a night shift.
I suppose in the worst case I could have simply run into the women’s toilets. All I would need is some handy lipstick so that I could suddenly pretend to be a trans woman if necessary (I’m thinking Barbara would be a nice name).
I guess it might be easier to join a 24 hour gym just for its bathroom facilities but I’m not yet entirely sure where I’ll be living in a couple of months. Living in a tent isn’t great, to be honest, for one simple reason: I never get a really good night’s sleep. I’m not complaining though, this year is my big chance to write the really interesting book.