A therapy diary

I’ve been offered the opportunity to try out some rapid transformational therapy also known as RTT therapy so I thought I would give it a go and will add more thoughts about the experience here once I’ve had the first session.

I might stop blogging about my therapy sessions for a while because I’ve clearly hit some kind of wall and don’t know how to make progress from here. In the meantime, it seems that I have no choice but to keep going through the whole violent re-experiencing of my past trauma as an infant. Life … Continue reading “Session 5. Stuck in trauma limbo land”

On the day of session four, I was feeling very ill from all the fear I was experiencing. It always seems to come out of my gums and I could also sense a very tender and raw sensation there like that of a tiny baby with no skin. The fear felt like being electrocuted every … Continue reading “Session 4. Overwhelming fear”

I think I may understand why people who take part in ayahuasca ceremonies often do so much “purging” by throwing up into a bucket. When you are used to suppressing terrifying or painful emotions then the body finds it hard to handle getting back in touch with them. There have been times this week when … Continue reading “Session 3. A tiny step closer to release”

Few human beings know what it is like to have all their hope taken away from them. The same thought often comes back to me: what if I can’t actually overcome this enough to have a satisfying life? It’s clear that some people never do. Despite all the reassurances people make about the brain’s “neuroplasticity” … Continue reading “Session 2. Exploring impatience”

After more than a year on the waiting list, I finally started therapy and I am extremely impressed by the person who is working with me as a “client”. We only have twelve sessions together and I am scared that this won’t be enough. And so, I decided to make the most of each session … Continue reading “Session 1. Getting to know my internal family”